Thanx y'all...I'm holdin' it together....I'm all fucked up on the inside tho.

I am so thankful for the support shown to me from friends, family and my rainbow family as well..

I had a shitload of overdue horror books due from the library, they had to override the system for me ::big grin::

I'm alright...but I'll never be the same again.

I may not always write, but, you're constantly in my thoughts.

I don't know if it's just in Las Vegas or all over the place now but apparently the goth culture has changed a lot as everyone I have encountered here in Las Vegas who is goth all have the mentality of a celebrity. Meaning if you don't look like someone who is of wealth or importance, they will literally, yes literally shrug their nose at you. They all say the exact same things as if they have a handbook of verbatim things they should respond with. what if they are robots? It would explain how plastic and artificial they really are. if God's people are supposed to generally be self-centered assholes like someone else I know. I guess the people back home just did it for fashion because the people here remind me so much of someone else who is self-centered, sadistic, narcissistic, Beyond egotistical and thinks the universe specifically Exists for them. the funniest thing of all is most of these women here who are goth are mediocre at best which is so funny considering how they seem to base everything on looks and when you meet one of them this is typically what they say to you, hello my name is such and such. I am not attracted how they seem to base everything on looks and when you meet one of them this is typically what they say to you, hello my name is such and such. I am not attracted to you but When you hear that over and over and over it makes you get discouraged and shows you just how ugly the world really is when people who most likely jhave been Through some fucked-up experience in their life to make them that way, hold something so petty against people. There is nothing I despise more than hypocrisy. </rant>

Well I personally feel like Hipsters are like fake Hippies and Emos are like fake Goths.

They don't really stand for the great things that Hippies and Goths used to be about, they're just a bunch of pretentious materialistic snobs who spend too much money on name brand clothing trying to look cool and feel more special than they really are.

That's the way I always look at it and that's the way the women around here are. They care more about their image. It's like goth is a uniform to them. When I was in high school and in my early twenties I went out of my way to be all trendy and look the part but I grew out of that and I am going to be 37 years old next month appearance to know who I am. I mean realistically these women around here who are my age and still dress like they are trying to the Corvette and High School are most likely deep down empty inside and so Bland and boring that even with them being attractive as is, they feel the need to put on an eccentric appearance To draw in people. I mean They are all narcissistic and very manipulative.

I can honestly say I never tried to dress to impress. I dressed for comfort and I always wear the same style: T-shirts, shorts, and flipflops.

I have no sense of style lol.

Sorry to hear you're running into that so much. A lot of people don't seem to value anything but looks, wealth and fame. But I'm happy to know lots of people who look past looks and value many other things.

Yeah they are out there but unfortunately Las Vegas is Hollywood's playground so naturally everyone around here would carry that stigma. I mean I guess it just comes with the territory and knowing that anyone out here that would put that much into their look it's doing it for superficial reasons and seem to hold some sense of entitlement because they're over inflated egos won't allow them to See the world any other way. We live in a plastic Society.

I live in the South. Nobody here really cares about looks or money but we are the Bible Belt and if you don't go to church or pretend to believe in Jesus like everybody else then the people here really do look down on you...

I guess every place has it's problems. ::big grin::

Where I used to live at in Virginia was similar only they thought they were way too big for their britches. I live in a town up in that tip in Virginia where Kentucky is on one side and West Virginia is on the other. We had a state championship wrestling team in high school for 27 years in a row I believe so naturally Our Town thought it was better than Jesus even though if you don't believe in Jesus you might as well be the devil. people always treated me differently there even from the time I first moved there as a small child from St Louis and I was viewed as an outsider by everyone even though that's where my mother was born and raised. I never felt right there and on top of that everyone was Christians and not just Christians but Southern Baptist Christians who many would describe as religious extremists in some of their methods. I feel really weird and out of place in Las Vegas as well now but to be fair I just moved it to thousand miles away from home and I've only been here for 3 months now. It's a learning experience and I'm not even sure that I'm going to want to live here the remainder of my days as I just love to Travel and there is still so much out there for me to see. I spent so much time in my life focusing on wanting companionship or friends and I've realized that if all I ever do is Chase dreams then I'm going to miss out on reality.