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Archivo 253 2015
Four people go to explore an abandoned asylum/hospital. Found footage type thing, except nobody says who found the footage. It starts out ok with two interviews with people who were in the facility. Then for about forty minutes nothing happens. Oh no, somebody moved their glow sticks! Oh no there's hair everywhere! Oh no! I was literally having trouble keeping my eyes open. I skipped to the end and it is what you'd expect. Nothing original. Or something that done before but interesting, not that either. My guess is the people who made the movie thought by just shooting in an abandoned complex it would make their movie good. 2/10 |
Strange Magic (2015)
If you've ever seen the movie Enchanted, this is the kind of movie they were making fun of. I was confused about the plot of this movie when I watched the trailers, and now that I've actually seen the movie, I still don't know what it's about. From what I gathered, Strange Magic has to do with these two sisters/lesbians?, some love potion that causes you to sing a lot, and a troll king. If there's any semblance of a coherent plot, it went way over my head. There seemed to be way too much going on at one time. The story cycle through three main characters at almost two minute intervals, and it got so aggravating that I just gave up trying to follow whatever was happening on screen. One thing I know for certain about Strange Magic is that it lives up to its title; it's strange. The background animation is about as good as you'd expect from a modern animated movie, but the character design is just unintentionally creepy. They look more like demented caricatures than cartoon characters. What makes this movie even more painful to watch is that a majority of the running time is dedicated to covering random pop and rock songs at the most unnecessary times. They cover just about everything: Lady Gaga, The Beatles, Beyonce, Whitney Houston, you name it. Strange Magic may provide a decent distraction for the youngest of moviegoers, but older viewers will just be annoyed by the ridiculous soundtrack and disturbing animation. 2/10 |
Avengers - Age of Ultron.
Second time viewing since the cinema. I still don't think it really had the impact the first one did, though to be honest I found it more rewatchable than I did the first. Anyhows...aside from some inconsistencies and liberties taken with certain storylines and characters, I didn't really mind it. I did notice something though. I'm going to put it in white for anyone that hasn't seen it yet. I'm pretty sure they haven't killed off Quicksilver. Just the way they laid him on the Helicarrier transport thing. They lay Hawkeye right next to his "body", though right before that we see he's injured his hand and is bleeding. Earlier int he film he was injured and exposed to some medical technology that literally regrew flesh over his wounds. Add to that Quicksilver ends up laying right under the aforementioned bleeding hand, and his deliberately mentioned accelerated metabolism/physiology, and I think that's how they're likely to get him back into play one way or another. |
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An alternate ending will also be included. |
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And Tony was a dick too. Convince Bruce in the first movie that he's not a monster and he has more worth than he feels he has, and just wipe that all away in the sequel. Asshat. Black Widow too. didn't mind the love interest but that was a dick move pushing him into the pit, Nat. ...I'm apologize. I'm rambling. Point being if extended scenes or an alternate ending could make these better, I'll give them a shot. But I HIGHLY doubt it. Age of Ultron was ultimately a disappointment for me considering how the first movie is one of my favorites. Although Ultron and Vision were very fucking boss. |
The Visit (2015)
The Visit manages to do two great things: it breaks the losing streak Shyamalan has been having for over a decade, and it manages to continue a winning streak for 2015 horror. The Visit is about two siblings who visit their estranged grandparents for a week while the girl, Becca, films a documentary about their stay. After a few strange encounters, they realize something is seriously wrong with their hosts. Although it wasn't as terrifying as Unfriended or It Follows, The Visit is the most fun I've had watching a horror movie in the theater. You'll be laughing your ass off through laced fingers; it's just as thrilling as it is funny. The movie perfectly punctuates every intense scene with some witty dialog from the kids. I smell a comeback for a once-acclaimed director, and the first step is with the wickedly fun The Visit. 9/10 |
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