Just what I was thinking.

I'm feeling the same way...I can't sleep for shit, I think I have totaled 6 hours ALL WEEK if that. It's like my mind won't stop. I feel worried and panicy constantly, but things are going pretty good. For the first time in 2 years I have all of my bills caught up, I've had a lil extra money to feed myself and put gas in the car so I don't have to beg people for it. Got me a brand new pimperish PC (:D), my grampa is doing a lot better, the rest of the family is doing ok. So I guess my life is normal for once, but I feel so worried/anxious all the time still.

I'm sorry to hear you've been so worried, forgey, and in such an odd way. Sometimes people have a way of freaking themselves out over nothing, so it's possible that it's nothing, you know.

I was sort of curious about when you say "weird stuff"--what do you mean by weird stuff? Is it these feelings, or is it other things also?

thnx..
no there has been other stuff..
my mum sez it might be my maori side coming out..
Lately..I have been seeing dark shadows ..like somebody is running past me really fast..from the corner of my eyes..
or this lake that we normally go swimming every weekend has had a fluctuation of peackocks..(peacocks to maori are bad luck, especially thier feathers)
The other night while studying ..i swear heard my name being called ..not kat or stubborn.. or mum ..my full name ..kataraina!! and i swear it was our 10 yr olds voice.
I was home alone..n she called kataraina..
thats when i went outside n started bawling.
Em the sort of person that if i dream of crowds continuously ..guaranteed theres a funeral in the family..
shit like that...hence ..afraid of sleeping..or mainly not beig able to sleep anyways . .
:(

Well, even if it does turn out to be nothing, I can tell you're real worried. Try to calm down if you can...sometimes staying calmer makes the worrisome things go away. Be calmness...give it a good try and see if it does any good for you.

So...I'm getting ready to go out now, and I was sorting through what clothes I'm gonna wear...incidentally, a military camo grey design pair of pants, my black boots, my longsleeve plain black silk shirt, underneath which I was GONNA wear one of my favourite t-shirts, just a cheap black one with a faded out logo of a skull and the word "WASTED" under it...
However, this t-shirt had been recently washed and dried, and as my t's always do, it shrunk down a little. No problem there, I got a routine...I basically grab the collar in one hand, and the bottom of the shirt with the other , and stretch it...so, I was doing this, and I guess it was essentially that it wasn't a brand new shirt, but it was still unexpected when I more or less ripped it in half...ah well, another shirt gone...

I didn't want to say anything because it would seem like I was jumping on the bandwagon and I rarely say anything when I am 'Seriously' bothered by something-but I have that jumpy feeling as well,and have had it since right before Christmas-it just increased when I got home from Delaware.
Mine is more about something precious being taken away from me,although I can't pinpoint what.

I wonder how many other people are feeling slightly off these days?
It is pretty good in my life right now,so maybe it is just that instinct some people who have been thru trama get when things finally calm down and go right?
You live in the fight or flight mode for so long and then things are calm,no drama and the mind just doesn't know how to handle it.

the time here is now 5.10 am..
yeah..i think ure right F.M..
its probably nothing..just old age creeping in...that PMS thingy..:D

and no Nova..I dont think ure jumping on the bandwagon..
i was gonna ask if anyone else has the same feelings ..
scary huh ..?

yeah,it really is