like my balls





my feet dont stink

Because they're the only part of your body you wash.


I have some really good hot sauce.

T.M.O




my lingerie all match

If only you could find a man...to take all your matching lingerie off.



I'm very strange!!

Well you were conceived by the weak sperm of two slippery hillbillies who slipped and droped you on your head when you were born.

I'm tuffer than Vin Diesel

RIGHT!..when he's passed out DRUNK!




I've got a lot of DVD's.

They just keep making so many of those Barney episodes




I miss my guy...

Mostly clown porn.

I know kung fu.

But so does Keanu Reeves and look how smart he is.

I make the best crackers when I'm stonned.

you should be stoned just for making them





I am from middle earth.

Middle aged earth.



I've got great will power.

and can finally stop eating dog crap!




my room is clean

But your mind is overflowing with raw sewage

I'm good with numbers

and white...and padded...and quiet...and soooo niiiice....



I have little ears

I can match up all the colors with them...I'm an artist



Little ears

Among other strange mutations.


I have a nice digital camera.

for shooting porn




my life is just great

Even online the sarcasm comes through loud and clear.


I'm pretty good at most sports.

humping old ladies legs is not a sport





my teeth are perfect

i cant say the same for the rest of your face



I like hockey

Especially the big sticks.

I can cook.

thats why i always order pizza




I like video games

I didn't know Sesame street came out in Ps2





I can jump real high

oh yeah my friend told me you were good in bed:D



i like violence

You also try to hard to fit in


I'm cynical

I do not!!!!!

@ haunted
you forgot insane



i like to meet new friends

Just because you can pay them to say they are, hookers arent really your friends.


I hate math

use your fingers and toes .




I hate housework

ill never get the hang of addition.




my breath smells like weed

then stop eating dandylions






my computer rocks

Well, Texas Instruments products do constitute being from "the Stone Age."


I believe in protecting wildlife

and belongs in rehab



my house is very clean

ok i fixed it

Well the roaches think so

I am a good singer

for a transvestite.



my hearing is perfect

for a geriatric




i love greenery

pity it's in my teeth.



i have freckles

in the shape of a penis on my face.


my biceps are cut

em pegging you mean cute..??
so are the biceps on a bullocks ass





my complexion is radiant

Raw pimples are always a shiny red

I maintain high standards