Zelda, because I can think of at least 2 Zelda games I actually like.

Eat
Dry dog food
or
Dry cat food?

Dry cat food because it's smaller and looks easier to digest.

Chewing gum or Bubble gum?

I once ate the star shaped ones. Tastes like many a dried snack you'd find in your asian supermarkets.

I have to go with chewing gum. Tends to last longer, and bubblegum goes a weird rancid flavour and breaks down after a while.

Porridge
or
Muesli

I generally have porridge-style oatmeal. It's great with milk, brown sugar, a little cinnamon, and raisins.

Rain or snow?

snow ,coz iv never seen it snow apart from being way up a ski field

shaved balls or hairy balls

shaved balls

bong or joint/blunt

Bongs all the way!

Cheap Trick or Thin Lizzy?

blunts are wasteful

Not much of a choice, but I'm going Cheap Trick.

Fender or Gibson?

I would have to say Thin Lizzy.

Stroganoff Hamburger Helper, or Cheesy Enchilada Hamburger Helper.

Got a little out of order here.

Fender; love that tone.

Jazz or blues?