How about this?

Who the Hell is Sheldon Reese?
Bullets and wisecracks fly as an oversexed egomaniac actor, in a career slump, risks becoming the next victim of a hitman as he attempts to unravel the gruesome death of a rival.

Can anyone provide feedback on this latest version? Is it better or worse thatn the last one I had posted here? The deadline for submitting this is in 9 hours so I got to figure out which one is more effective.

Who the Hell is Sheldon Reese?
Bullets and wisecracks fly as an oversexed egomaniac actor, in a career slump, risks becoming the next victim of a hitman as he attempts to unravel the gruesome death of a rival.


Who the Hell is Sheldon Reese?
"Bullets and wisecracks fly as a self-absorbed actor, at risk of becoming the next victim of a celebrity-slaying hitman, must unravel the mystery surrounding the murder of a rival while juggling his slumping career and chaotic love life."

The first one. But the comma is unnecessary. It disrupts the flow.

Sheldon Reese is a guy who should come back to the e-fed world and hang around with myself, Timmy, Bill, Luke, and the gang again!

Ha! Sheldon Reese is destined for greater things than the e-fed world because my new creative outlet is writing screenplays, not roleplays. ;)

You make me sad.

There is always time for both!

Actually, there's barely time for one, but the screenplay contest I enter only requires 1 five page script a month as opposed to countless roleplays per week.

Well our new fed has a four roleplay max per week because it is a part time fed. Plus you can always just come on over and hang with us OOCly.

I definitely don't have the time for it. I talk to who I want to talk to on email, myspace and on here so there's not much point in going to the OOC boards. Any time I pop in, I get harrassed to return and I just don't have the time any more.

Alright my bad brotha.

Sorry to disturb your thread with this.