Animals have been forced to act politically correct for far too long. We must help the animals to be wild again, not tame lil house pussies. Rise up monkeys! Rise up koala bears! Do your part people, teach an animal to be obscene as they should be. This injustice must be stopped once and for all!!

they'll need opposable thumbs.

Nonsense! This opposable thumb thing is a product of the mass media conspiracy against the monkeys of the world. All you need is friction to the shaft to make the mushroom pop. No opossable thumbs needed. Fight the power! Animals unite and stick up for you basic rights to masturbate!!