UNFRIENDED 2: DARK WEB

The Mistress, 2022, 6/10

Director: Greg Pritikin




Megalomaniac, 2022. 8/10. ::love::

Director: Karim Ouelhaj




Dariuss {screener} 7,5/10

Director: Chris Politana

Tell Me a Creepy Story, 2023. 7/10


Directed by:
Samuel Dawe
Félix Dobaire
Stuart Graham
Paul Holbrook
Luke Konopasky


https://images.sr.roku.com/idType/ro...rs:quality(70)

[IMG]https://im0,strp/aggie_by_zakeno_d5jswrh-350t-2x.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiO

Mob Land, 2023. 8/10.

Directed by Nicholas Maggio



The sound track was phenomenal.

SELECTIVE OUTRAGE(2023). Recent Chris Rock standup has lots of funny moments, but the best is towards the finale when He discusses the business concerning Will "Slappy" Smith. ***1/2

Good stuff indeed.

Strange Way of Life 2023 ★★★★

Only 30 minutes in a movie theatre. 35 if you count the trailers and announcements (turn off your phone, enjoy the movie, try our passes, yadda yadda yadda). The average Bond/Marvel blockbuster has hardly warmed up in that period. Almodovar uses it tell an entire story. Yes, Almodovar. The first name is not even necessary anymore at this point. He's become his own brand.

And yes, it has gay cowboys. But, for the South Park-fans out there, no pudding. Sadly.

But this is not even that much about their relationship. And yes, the parallels with Brokeback Mountain are obvious. With Jake reminiscent of Ledger and Silva closer to Gyllenhaal.

What is about then? You can tell from looking at the two leads and the feelings they emote. Mostly in their facial expressions and body language. With nearly every shot in their scenes together brimming with emotion. This is the type of regret you understand more and more as you grow older. The regret that has your body and mind say “if only I had...”. If only I had the courage back then to...

The movie is also about inner conflict. About being torn. Between your principles and your feelings. Between following your heart and doing what you think is the right thing, in both justice and life. Between what your work can turn you into and what you think life expects from you.

Cinema at its purest. Not for everyone, but the ones who are open to enjoying this, will be touched by it.

The Outwaters 2022 ★★★★

I went into this one with mixed expectations. On the one hand, the trailer looked good and it was programmed on a festival, but at such an hour that I could not attend the screening. So that makes for a bit of anticipation. On the other hand, I understand that there were mixed reviews. Like a lot of FF, it can be hit or miss. Depending on where said viewer is at that specific moment.

Well, as far as I am concerned, this one certainly delivered.

Sure, we get some of the standard build up trying to get us to relate to the main characters. In this case a band who, I believe, is recording a video for one of their songs. And sure, we get some characteristic “did you hear that?”. But other than that...

The Outwaters walks the right line between explicit and implicit. The physical harm happening to the characters and the state they are in mentally. A state that answers the question “why do they keep filming?”. For all we know, he probably does not even realise that he is filming anything in the first place.

A state where you are never really sure which part is reality and which part is hallucination. Where did that blood come from? Where did that wound come from? How did they find that? And yes... What the hell is that?

I will not spoil the ending, but I will say that I cannot remember feeling this uncomfortable since watching Be My Cat. A kind of discomfort that stuck to me for the rest of the evening.

For fans of FF, this can be some seriously scary shit.

Deadly Species 2002 ★½

A poor man's predator with scientists and vague evil people. It also has gratuitous nudity (among others discount Shannon Elizabeth), the fountain of eternal youth and monsters... I guess they are supposed to look like Predators but they more resemble The creature from the black lagoon. And the dubbing... my goodness, the dubbing.

Only if you are in the mood for cheesy fun.

Bermuda Island 2023 ★½

Lost meets Dollar Store Predator. With ditto effects and acting.

Half star for the pretentious sounding metal head. He was kind of funny.

Reign in Darkness 2002 ★

This Blade wannabe is the Bechdel equivalent of the scene where Homer makes the lie detector explode.

The only mystery here is how this got greenlit in the 21st century.

Barbie 2023 ★★★★

Alright, time to see what all the fuss is about. Heads up: this wil be a long ass review.

Before we get started, two quick things. One: earlier tonight, I saw a 2000s vampire flick that offered screen time to a total of four(!) women. Only one of them had a single line of dialogue and that's over 70 minutes in. One of them was literally just there to kiss the main antagonist, the second was just vampire fodder and all the third one did was walk and scream. To quote Brad Jones reviewing Voiceless: “I've seen women better represented in gay porn”.

Second: In one of his books, Mark Kermode tells an anecdote about a conversation he had with one of the producers on Titanic. He tells about how he rants (and I do love my Kermode rants) to her about everything that does not work in the movie, everything that does not make sense and so on and so on. She then gives him a warm smile and says in a friendly tone (and I'm parafrasing): “Everything you just said is completely true. There is just one problem: you're not a teenage girl.” As in: Yes, it's true what you say. But it does not matter, since the people who this movie is for don't give a crap about that. The same way the average guy does not care about how Arnold never has to reload.

So that kind of sets up the mindset I was in when I sat down to watch this. I should not watch this movie as if it was for me, because it's not meant to be. This was for the group of teenage girls sitting right behind me who laughed at all the right beats of this comedy. Because yes, Barbie is also a comedy and in the words of Jerry Seinfeld: the laughs don't lie. (And for full disclosure: the irony is not lost on me that I'm mostly quoting men so far.). The girls laughed, I... sometimes laughed and sometimes chuckled, so as a comedy... it worked. Simple as that. It's a solid comedy, certainly in the first act. Margot Robbie excels, she really has the part down. Ryan Gosling is funny as Ken in a goofy kind of way (Also, was evil Ken meant to look like Vince Neill? Because I was digging that.) and Michael Cera is funny as Allen.

Then the infamous second act. Yes, it gets preachy at times and if you are an observant person/viewer, it does not tell you much that you don't already know. I can both see how it's annoying for some and, at the same time, also where it's coming from. As I mentioned at the start of this review: the culture that does not bat an eye at the portrayal of women in movies like the vampire flick meantioned earlier is a thing a lot of women/feminists have to contend with. I.e., if you have given Michael Bay a pass for his portrayal of women, then giving this movie shit for their portrayal of men kind of makes you a hypocrit.

This is also one of the flaws this movie has. A five star masterpiece keeps you immersed and has you going “hell yeah!” from start to finish, not “Ok... ok... I get it. I... know.” So yes, the portrayal is sometimes black and white and sure, it's pretty on the nose at times. And at the same time, its portrayal of women on women bullying with the Weird Barbie thing. Just one quick sorry and we're good. What has to be years of pent up frustration and what not... gone, just like that. Having heard women in the media talk about how women can often in fact be more cruel to each other than men are (or even could be), I could not help but be struck by how quickly and easily, this movie glosses past that. Also: first time she appeared, I could not help but raise my hands and go: of course. Of-fucking-course it had to be Kate McKinnon. Again, perfect casting. Nailed it. Also also: part of me can not help but wonder how this would work as a double feature with Mean Girls.

Then again... this is fricking Barbie. In a way, she is about as cartoony as The Expendables and that's part of the point. A good part of this movie is also a nostalgia trip for women who grew up playing with Barbie and I'm pretty sure that, during the countless hours spent in their rooms, they (or the guys growing up with GI Joe) did not come up with plots as intricate and flawless as, say, 12 angry men. Once you understand that, you also understand that it's wrong to go into this movie expecting this level of intricacy. After all, it's first and foremost entertainment for a large audience. Otherwise, it would be four hours long and then people would bitch about it being too long. But slice it into four one hour episodes on Netflix and people will happily “binge” it. Go figure.

Not only that, it also ignores moments like the one where Barbie literally apologizes for taking Ken for granted. Or the self aware joke about casting Margot Robbie. Or the great cameo by Rhea Perlman. And how do you combine your criticism of the film and its portrayal of the sexes with the blatant hommage to Stanley Kubrick that it opens with?

You can argue about the themes and message of the film. For my sentiment, it was a tad too much either/or and a bit too little and/and. And even that can lead to good conversation themes, given enough good will and empathy from all involved. Also, that does not take away from the movie's many qualities. Well made, well told and perfectly cast. You can see it as a great popcorn muncher and if you want, it can offer food for thought. And for the coming decades, there will always be little girls who benefit from this “yes, you can”-type of message.

Four stars.